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Forty-six bottles of beer in the fridge
The panic is starting to set in. LSU has lost seven games in a row. A weekend series to Ole Miss, a midweek game to University of New Orleans and a weekend series at Florida. What’s wrong with those Tigers.
You must right that ship. Tell me this is just a bump in the road, the Road to Omaha. Most good teams have a period where they just don’t play well for ta few games. That’s it right.
Pod, you must send me a message and let me know that the Tigers are still coming. Even if we need to start lobbying the NCAA right now for a Rosenblatt memorial regional at Alex Box. We’ll send Nebraska, Creighton and the University of Nebraska at Omaha to fill out that regional.
Then I have to find a way to get you through the Super regional, again at Alex Box.
Oh hell, just right that ship. We don’t need to stack this thing for you.
What are the ramifications to Stadium View and Omaha if t he Tigers don’t come? Because if you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s all about me!
First of all it’s about 15 less cases of beer I’ll have to buy. Now you’re probably thinking, at fifteen bucks a case that I will have a net savings of $225. That’s awfully short-sighted of you. Each one of of those beers to a Tiger fan will probably result in at least one t-shirt sale, minimum. So 24 beers times 15 cases times $20 per shirt means a gross sales of $7200.
I want to but those extra 15 cases of beer.
Omaha and my daughters will have to buy their own beads, and the quality of the beads will go way down. We’ll have to put up with those cheap-ass beads from Oriental Trading Company. None of those huge ones with balls as big as Christmas ornaments or the ones with Crawdads on them. Bead fashion in Omaha will be severely upset.
My plans to print some of my “To hell with Rosenblatt, Save Stadium View.”, shirts in purple and gold will have to be put on hold. I think other teams from the SEC and Texas would rather commit Hari Kari in the middle of 13th Street than to be seen in purple and gold. Same old boring white and gray shirts.
My plans for a purple and gold bouquet for your opening game is also put on hold. There’s no pretty burnt orange flowers, which is the only other team I would probably be thinking of honoring in that manner.
I am not sure if I will go forward with a tentative plan to allow fans from the winning team to paint their insignia on the floor of Stadium View. It seems so apropos if y’all are coming but if you’re not I may have to revisit that idea.
I was hoping that Ronnie would bring me a new River Road Cookbook or a new Louisiana Cookbook. They had to put out a new one in the twelve or so years since he brought me the last one.
Who’s gonna hug my kids if the Lady in the Hat doesn’t come? Not Buddy from South Carolina for sure.
Who’s gonna sit and talk to me for hours if the guy who owns all the Sonic’s doesn’t come?
Who’s gonna party with my kids if Big Wayne, Mr. Tim, Mr. Larry and company don’t come. Harper’s only ten so if I see one of you trying to slip her a beer I’ll kill you. That may be drinking age in Louisiana, but not here. In fact, I’ll sic Amy on you if you try to corrupt this kid.
What lame ass mascot are we going to have walking around the street instead of Bubby the Tiger?
The College fund? Who’s gonna win the competition if the Tiger fans don’t come. I could probably get a mail in campaign going from Tiger land and you’d still win the competition, but it wouldn’t be the same. I want to see each and every one of you dropping the money in the LSU jar.
Who’s gonna sign the outside of the building for you?
Somebody go tell the players. Tell them the guy with the little store across the street from Rosenblatt is waiting for them.
Tell them I won’t take no for an answer.
Tell them to turn this thing around.
Tell them I need to see them in forty-six days. We need to see them in forty six days.
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