Stadium Views


Cleavage Point and I Too Refuse by gpiv
March 17, 2010, 7:35 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Ninety four bottles of beer in the fridge.

I have thought about some general discussion of the CWS fans and I will probably begin that tomorrow.  There was a great response to the blog yesterday and I hope that continues.  It’s very refreshing.  Today I think I’ll do another character.

In “the man in the red chair” blog you were introduced to Wacko, but his character certainly deserves some development.  His official title at the View is Vice President of Outside Operations, Sanitation Control.  Wacko’s my garbage man during the CWS, an essential job when you are going through ten to fifteen cases of beer a day.

As the Stadium View trash grew exponentially over the years during the series the need  to haul it daily also grew.  So Wacko volunteered to justify his constant presence by hauling it every morning.  Since that is not Wacko’s main job, what it amounted to was throwing it in the back of his truck and then seeking empty dumpsters around town to dump it in.  It worked til I got a call from somebody who went through the trash and wanted it removed or he would call the police.

Wacko’s solution was simple.  We have a large tent party across the street.  Wacko got there early in the morning, carried the trash across the street and dumped it and then it was hauled away before any of the organizers of the tent party arrived on the scene the next day.  It has, and continues to work perfectly.

Wacko has the run of the place.  The apartment in back is reserved for Stadium View personnel, scalpers and Wackos friends.   It has a porch which overlooks the foot traffic up and down B street and sits up about 10 feet above the traffic.  Wacko has named it “Cleavage Point” for a rather obvious reason in the middle of summer,  It does serve rather nicely for the stated purpose, and Wacko and his friends embarrass people by t he minute.  At least twice a day I have to ask them to keep it clean while kids are around, because believe it or not, at Stadium View we are ultimately all about the family experience during the CWS.  While we understand that there is an adult aspect to all of it, it is the only major NCAA event where a normal family can still afford to go.

Wacko usually starts off the first day of the series strong, a case or two of beer himself, and it’s down hill from there.  I can’t count the number of times he has come in to the store and asked to buy a case or two of beer off of me to feed his minions.  Obviously I can’t deny him his pleasure.

Two to four times a series we find Wacko passed out in the back apartment .  He will then be defiled in various ways until he wakes up with lit matches between his toes or other wierd items draped around his body.  He will then go back to sleep.

Wacko went to the University of Michigan and played for Bo Schembechler and also played baseball until he flunked out, got kicked out, or became academically ineligible.  He then became the next best thing to being a lazy athlete and took a job as a lazy fireman for the US government at Offutt Air Force base.  He recently retired after 30 or so years of service after fighting exactly two car fires in thirty years.  Brings a new meaning to protecting and serving.

Wacko’s been a friend for years and for life.  I literally have about a thousand Wacko stories, but I have to keep most of  them to myself since I am hoping to draw a cross-section audience to this blog and not offend too many people.  Suffice it to say that “colorful life” would describe someone who was about two or three levels lower than Wacko.  Wacko has lived the full spectrum of color in his life.

I just saw him a minute ago on this St. Patrick’s Day and at his age, in excess of my 55, he was dressed all  in green, with green hair and a green fu manchu.  I am drawn in life to people who refuse to grow up.

I too refuse!

After a long day of entertaining the Stadium View Crew

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3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I love that guy.he has a good eye for the ladies

Comment by stingray

Definitely a staple at Stadium View…..That pic has to be one of my favorites 🙂

Comment by Double-U

Piv—Mary Jo just put me on your blog. Read them all and love them.

Comment by Jerry Noble




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