Stadium Views

And behind this door, it’s scalper #3…..and #4 and #5 and so on…. by gpiv
March 29, 2010, 1:48 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Eighty one bottles of beer in the fridge.

Met with the Director of Outside Operations yesterday.  Tom’s been working on moving the operation downtown next year.  I decided to give him a raise, or at least the next best thing.  He’s now the Director of Corporate Acquisitions.  Hope he can wear all those hats.

Its time to talk about some of the minor scalpers.  In the early years of The View it was basically just Jay and Ron.  Recent years, especially since the Huskers have entered the college baseball championship fray, have brought about an explosion of scalpers to the area during the series.

That reminds me about the first time I met Jay and Ron.  Jay was inquiring whether I sold tickets in the store, since I was outside the store trying to sell tickets on the sidewalk, at face value of course.  I told him that I occasionally did, at face value of course.  The next thing I know is that there are a couple of undercover cops in the store trying to buy tickets from me.  They tried to set me up with their cop friends.  And somehow I still like the rascals.

You have already met Tommy the Ticket Taker.  Tommy’s from Kansas City and scalps the Chiefs and Royals and major concerts.  He comes in every year, sometimes by bus when his car is broke down.  Tommy usually buys a couple of cheap t-shirts from the vintage rack in the back of the store to constitute his wardrobe for the week.  He loves my free beer and free food and he sleeps on the floor of someones motel or house.  All in all a cheap vacation for Tommy.  Sometimes referred to by Harper as Scalper #3.

The other Scalper #3 is The Burden.  The Burden is aptly titled.  He pisses The Parking Nazi off on a regular basis by taking one of the parking spots on the street.  The Burden regularly brings his daughter, who is a little younger than Harper, to help around the store.  Stadium View daycare.  She loves my free food too.  The Burden is a regular client after the series as he has a proclivity to get into minor scrapes, like punching his boss in the face.

I have to give a shout out to the Burden for the help he gave during the cancer year last year.  He texted me early on and volunteered to help with lawn work and stuff.  As proud as I am, the Burden is one I felt comfortable asking for help.

Mickey’s from Lincoln.  Most of the scalpers believe that he is the one who set us up for the big scalping raid.  I call him Mickey Morandini after the not so famous Chicago Cub infielder.  Mickey’s a stockbroker or something of that nature so he’s trying to keep a low profile now.  He figures that his firm would not appreciate an arrest.  He’s probably right.

Miami saunters in usually mid series.  He’s probably the most well dressed of the scalpers.  Even his Miami jersey seems to be freshly pressed.  He’s polite and never fails to donate to Harper’s college fund when he eats or drinks at the place.

Now scalper dress is an issue.  You have a certain group of scalpers who endeavor to wear the team of the days gear to attract buyers from that team.  Even if it’s a Clemson football jersey for the Clemson game.  Then you have a certain group who wear a shirt with all the teams on it so that they appear neutral.  Then you the poorer scalpers who wear some kind of sports gear, like a fifteen year old Chicago Bulls shirt as if that will make them appear legitimate.  Then there is the small group, like Ron and Jay, who wear civilian clothes, to try and attract a higher paying clientele.

After Miami comes Big Papi, who bears a slight resemblance to the Boston Red sox first baseman.  He’s eloquent and has a stable of people either working for him or who supply him with better tickets.  Every once in a while they meet outside my place and it looks like a Salvation Army Kitchen or something.  That’s when it’s time to move it along.  Big Papi can usually come up with pretty good tickets.  He eats my food with reckless abandon although he’s always asking me to make a good salad rather than all the meat.  He says the CWS is a meat fest.

There’s the GA man.  The GA man tries to sell only general admission tickets although he sometimes gets out of his element.  This resulted in his arrest a couple of years ago.  At the CWS you can buy a book of ten general admission tickets for $60.  Face value is ten dollars each.  So you can make a legal $4 per ticket.  GA man says he sells over a thousand per series.  That’s a cool $4000, or more if he buys the GA tickets on the street for less.

There’s Kirk, from Des Moines.  Kirk, unlike many of the scalpers, has a normal life.  He owns a softball complex near Des Moines, and his family owns lots of farm land.  I think he scalps for the thrill of the deal, not the money.

Then there’s the guy who doesn’t really hang around the store but you notice him a few times a series.  He usually has an LSU hat on with a pony tail hanging down the back of his neck.  He invariably has no shirt on and has an amazing body.  He has ethiopian skinny arms and legs and then this pot belly, which is accentuated by the short shorts he wears.  The other scalpers say that he bats from the other side of the plate.  Great tan though.

I could go on forever.  There’s eight million stories in the naked city.  but what you need to know is that these are harmless businessman.  There has never been a story about fake tickets being sold by scalpers or a scalper attacking someone.

Every ticket is right behind home plate, or close to the first or third base dugouts.

They may lie, but what salesman doesn’t.

Caveat emptor gentlemen.

Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: