Stadium Views

Mr. Arbor, Mr. Lied, Mr. Buffett, Mr. Gates and The Burden. Who do you guys think will help me more? by gpiv
April 30, 2010, 12:26 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Forty-nine bottles of beer in the fridge.

That means it’s only seven weeks to the fabulous opening ceremonies.  wow, what an addition to the series those have been.  That’s when a lot of the people who have no money and no intention of spending any meager sums they do have come down to the Stadium to see what they can get for free.

Usually it’s a bad concert followed by some pretty decent fireworks.   Of course it’s usually so late before the fireworks get started that none of us vendors want to stick around and watch.  The Series starts the next day you know.

The Burden called yesterday and volunteered to come down and cut the grass.  Everyone give one up for the Burden.  It’s the first time that I talked to him since he and I met before he took a forty-five day vacation.  He said that Jay had told him that I was dissing the scalpers badly.  I said that was inaccurate, I had in fact publicly thanked the Burden for stepping up last year and helping me out during the cancer year.  Burden, who was apparently with Jay, turned to him and confronted him.

Jay said, “Get a computer and read the thing yourself,” thereby acknowledging that I had spoken the truth.

Jay is going to bring down the weed killer for the back parking lot.  And put it on I hope.

Oh, the landscaping that goes on at The View.

This is Arbor day.  It’s a state holiday in Nebraska.  Do they celebrate it anywhere else?  You’re supposed to plant a tree.  I’ts in honor of some Arbor dude who planted trees or something, kind of a rich Johnny Appleseed.  I was going to Google it and give you the real history of it but it’s more fun making it up.  I know he had a real nice lodge in Nebraska City and then they built a Lied Center by it so people could relax and spend money and stroll though the trees and pretend their lives weren’t so stressful for a day or too.

I should Google this Lied dude too.  Just how much money does he have.  There’s crap named after him everywhere.The Lied Center in Bellevue, the Lied Transplant Center, the Lied Performing Arts Center in Lincoln, and the list goes on and on.  Who wants to contact him or his foundation on behalf of the The View.  Hell, it’s TD Ameritrade park downtown.  Why not the Lied Stadium View across from the Zoo which has probably three or four things named after Mr. Lied dude.

We could then go into naming individual parts of the building like Tom Osborne field at Memorial Stadium.  Lot’s of possibilities.

There could be the Buddy Stoop at the Lied Stadium View.

Followed by Waco’s Cleavage Point at Lied Stadium View.

The Parking Nazi Parking Lot at Lied Stadium View.  Although if we are getting the Lied Foundation involved in this I’m sure that we can’t use the word Nazi. Maybe the Parking Dictator.  Hell, that’s probalbly too politically incorrect.  How about the Parking Non Democratic Person?  If we’re going corporate we need to get a lot more politically correct at The View.

For that matter I’m pretty sure that Cleavage point may have to be reworked.  Perhaps Plunging Mound Point would be less obvious.

We could have the Toni-Stacey-Erik Outside selling area at Lied Stadium View.  A Plaque memorializing their sun burns could be placed on the outside of the building.

Their could be the Baseball America Front Sidewalk at Lied Stadium View.  Of course we would have to put enough statues of people with Baseball America’s n their hand that no one could pass on the sidewalk.  The place would always look crowded at least.

Their could be Scalper Corner at Lied Stadium View.  There again enough statues would have to be erectecd to completely block foot traffic.  And one of those statues would have to be a talking one like at the Durham Western Heritage Museum who about every thirty seconds erupts with a cuss word of some sort, mostly the F word.

Their could be the Kris and Moosey Counter at Lied Stadium View.  Food and beer would be constantly present on the counter.

For a Photo op we could clear the t-shirt display area on the south wall that the cops did on the day of the great scalping caper.  We could advertise it as “Get your Mug shot taken exactly where Piv, Jay, Ron and the Long Time Employee who shall remain nameless did,” photo point.  You too could feel like a criminal.

And we could replace some of the bricks on B Street with engraved bricks stating The Man In the Red Chair Sports Accounting Wing at Lied Stadium View.”

Who’s calling this Lied guy?  Hey, Buffett and Gates are also in town.  With every $500,000 donated they get a free, “To Hell with Rosenblatt, Save Stadium View T-Shirt.” 

They can wear it with their suits and go Don Johnson or it certainly matches those fifty pair of khaki pants that they have in their wardrobe.

For me, it will be the Piv Tear Stained Hawiian Shirt Counter at Lied Stadium View.

Unless of course one of you gets the five hundred thousand.

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