Stadium Views

Eight o’clock starts for CWS games! South Africa shouldn’t host anything more than a safari! by gpiv
May 5, 2010, 11:55 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Forty-four bottles of beer in the fridge.

After a week of thinking I lost my edge as no one seemed to be visiting the blog regularly I discovered that all I have to do is write an article about LSU and we’ll get the readership again.  Oh well, at least for a couple of days welcome back Tiger fans.  Right that ship.

I was talking to Toni today and she asked me about the schedule of theWS, especially on Monday and Tuesday of the first week when the games are listed at 4:30 and 8:00.  She was surprised and I explained the situation as I understand it and now I am screaming at the top of my lungs in my office as I write this…………………….

SOCCER IS NOT A SPORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And to even interrupt a little league game on television for the World Cup must have A. Bartlett Giammatti, Abner Doubleday, Babe Ruth and every other great figure in baseball history spinning in their graves.

That’s the reason folks.  The World Cup.  For Chrissakes the thing is being held in South Africa.  South Africa.  How many kuggerrrands worth the bribes did that take.  The place has got  to be an armed camp for the month of the tournament.

Have you seen the commercials on ESPN for the damn thing.  What the hell are they supposed to mean? The people are in prison and some guard throws them a soccer ball and they start playing and then all of a sudden the players are walking out of a tunnel to play a game similar to the World Cup.  What are they trying to show me?  How far the world and South Africa have come because of soccer.  Poppycock.

I’ll bet you a couple hundred bucks that they aren’t gonna be cruising the streets of South Africa for a lot of human interest stories.  But  I digress.  Let’s get back to the main theme in this blog turned rant.

By the way has anybody read the book “Rant” by Chuck Pahluik.  That is some sick stuff.  Interesting but  sick.  But I digress.

Soccer is not a sport.  I am proud to say that none of my children have participated in this blasphemy to the word sport.   American suburban women, variously known as Soccer Moms use it as a babysitting service for their kids.  Drop them off and let some guy who knows less about the sport than I do (and I have managed over the years to avoid any knowledge of it, I don’t know a yellow card from a green card)  coach them and hope that he has them sufficiently tired by the time that they come back so that the kids will fall asleep as soon as they get home.

I digress.  I would allow soccer to be shown on TV if it was “All scissor kick all the time soccer.”  No advance of the ball without a scissor kick.  It’s still not a sport but at least the little bit of time that you watch it you could treat it like an event, kind of like gymnastics, which is also not a sport.

I double digress.  I would allow soccer on TV if it was progressive women’s strip soccer following the lead of Mia Hamm(See I do know a soccer name to drop, also add Pele and David Beckham to my name dropping list).  Each time they go up and down the field one of the women players would have to take a piece of clothing off until someone scores, then they put their clothes back on.  In that manner the television sponsors would have to encourage more scoring in that boring ass game.

I have never cursed so much in a blog.  Folks that is not me. It’s soccer and the World cup that are making me do it.  I have Soccer Tourrets Syndrome.

The College World Series games, which have been lasting four hours lately, are going to last until after midnight, even if the first game doesn’t run late.  Why?  Because South Africa bribed more Soccer Officials than anyone else.

You can’t use your hands.  How can that be a sport?  Jim Abbott might like that but not the rest of us card-carrying baseball addicts.

This is Baseball!  In Omaha, Nebraska!  It’s America!  There’s good human interest stories (like me)!  Nobody will be standing around with a machine gun!  They won’t be advertising it with a bunch of guys in prison being thrown a baseball to start a game and then advancing to the College World Series!

You ESPN, and you America, need to wake up and realize the truth.  Soccer is not a sport.

There are only four sports.  Baseball, football, basketball and hockey.

And if I hear the word houlligan one more time, I’m going to puke.

I’ll puke my baseball loving guts all over the floor of my store where……………………………………


2 Comments so far
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Congrats on at least naming a female soccer player who played for the U.S. I too lament baseball after midnight, but feel I should point out that it was Brandi Chastain (add her to your name drop list) who borrowed a page from her male counterparts running around shirtless. If it is any consolation Mia Hamm married a baseball player. I am sure they will be a house divided when it comes to the discussion of ESPN scheduling…

Comment by soccer v baseball

Yep.But I also digress.Geaux Tigers.

Comment by Robert King

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