Stadium Views

Piv has College World Series Rules? Say it ain’t so Joe, say it ain’t so! by gpiv
June 12, 2010, 11:04 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

There’s a six pack left.

Wow, Nebraska in the Big Ten.  I have to take some time off of blogging the College World Series to comment on that.

But first, the first two World Cup games ended in ties.  For Chrissakes, what kind of sport ends up in ties.  that’s cause it is not a sport.  It’s an event.  1-1 and 0-0.  There is more excitement in fishing.  And don’t try and tell me that fishing is a sport.  It’s a nice diversion, if your cooler is big enough or an excuse to drink beer, but it is not a sport.  Certainly anything that can be done simultaneously with drinking a beer is not a sport.  And certainly anything that ends in a tie is not a sport. 

Now, Nebraska in the Big Ten.  My conspiracy theory is that we joined the Big Ten just so that our baseball program could have some prominence.   We immediately became the 12th best team in mens basketball.  However, we are a conference power in baseball.  And Volleyball and Womens Basketball.   I think that the move is good.  we need to distance ourselves intellectually from the conference of academic neanderthals.

First day of the Super Regionals sucked.  Texas lost.  They let some hip hop hat wearing freshman pitcher beat them.  If that guy comes anywhere near The View I’m going to take the hat off of his head.  The bill was obnoxious but the fact that he wore it kind of sideways was the really sickening part.  If white guys want to play gangsta, fine, but not on my baseball field.  Show some respect for the game.

I didn’t watch many of the other games.  A little of the Vandy-  State game but that’s about it.  We need a Texas turn around today.

As long as I am ragging on the hip hop TCU dude with the Harry Potter glasses I should give out a few tips regarding Stadium View Etiquette.  Many of these have appeared throughout the blogs and most would be common sense, but please try to observe some of them.

1.  Either take that flat billed hat off or suffer the consequences.  It’s my joint and I make the rules.  Thinking that looks cool only shows that you are delusional or do not care what you look like.

2.  Pull up your damn pants.  If I want to see your underwear I’ll ask you and believe me I won’t ask you.  I may ask Kris and Moosey to give some wedgies to people whose pants are too low.

3.  The sign in the Bathroom says, “I won’t get a chance to pee on your floor so don’t pee on mine.”  That seems like it should be a simple rule, especially for the women.  Please do your best cause Uncle Larry is going to be cleaning the bathroom.

4.  Please take a crap in my bathroom only in extreme emergency.  It’s a hundred and twelve-year-old building and it doesn’t have an exhaust system and there is only so much Glade air freshener can do.

5.  If it does become necessary to take a crap in the place, please do it in the bathroom.  This is a simple corrollary to No.4.

6.  When asked if you want a free beer, do not ask ,”What Kind.”  I’m not giving away Guinness and I’m not giving away Schlitz.  For Chrissakes it’s Busch Light and at about fifteen hundred a year I don’t need any beer snobs.  If you absolutely need your brand they are about $6.00 a can up the street.

7.  Don’t disrespect my t-shirts.  I’m a small businessman who has a limited budget on which to stock the store.  I buy what I think I can sell.  Yeah I don’t have all the stuff that the tent next door has and if you don’t see what you want, buy a Stadium View shirt and be on your way.  “This place don’t have shit,” hurts my feelings and is unnecessary.

8.  Picking up every t-shirt out of the bin is not a requirement.  If the t-shirts are in a stack, the one on the bottom is the same as the one on the top except perhaps for the size. 

9.  Don’t block the front door.  Believe it or not for the most part that is the ingress and egress for the whole place.  Blocking it may prevent somebody from the privilege of knowing the place and the people.  And despite all the above rules, we really do like people at The View.

10.  If you have to sit on the stoop, not in front of the t-shirts.  I know most of you believe that The View is just a front to give away free beer, kind of like those organizations that give away free condoms.  But occasionally I like to sell a t-shirt to someone who is not simply grateful for the free beer. 

After observing the simple rules above, HAVE FUN!

As our t-shirt for last year and this year have both said, “We’re not here for a long time, We’re here for a good time.”

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